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  • Lindsey Van Wagner

Wander in Wonder

So far, 2018 has been a ride. I went through some difficulties which led to an emotional rough patch, but I am here to report that the fog is lifting and a clearer and stronger me is emerging :) One day at a time.

Now, on to the fun stuff. I went to Costa Rica in February to become a certified yoga teacher and ... drum roll please ...


I SAW A SLOTH.

Maybe I should have ended the post with the sloth thing, as that is the most exciting thing that has happened to me in 2018 (and ever in my life). If you want to see the video, email me.

In other news, I am teaching a weekly yoga class at the Botanical Gardens and I even made it to their online newsletter (scroll down, it is the third picture from the bottom). My favorite part is choosing the music playlist! Duh. I have taught a couple of classes so far and I have this special feeling of peace and security afterwards.

It is quite fortuitous that I am teaching there - it was completely unplanned. My friend asked me for some help in her gift shop at the garden a few months ago and even though it seemed random to me and not what I had in mind for a job, I took her up on the offer. Then, one thing led to another and she asked me to start teaching yoga. It required no forcing or pushing or shoving on my part. Life has a way of opening doors for us, so I am just trying to stay flexible and let the universe show me what is next. I am open to synchronicity and sometimes the things that find me turn out better than anything I could have sought through my own volition.

I also have another accomplishment I want to share. Last week my article was published in the St. Croix Avis - a newspaper here on island. Fun fact: I just learned "Avis" is a Latin word for bird. So I kind of think of the paper as representing a messenger pigeon, used to get news around the island.

Below is a picture of the paper, my article is on the left. (I am not sure how the article will transpose to the webpage, so if you want to see a clearer copy, I can email you. Just hit me up.)


The newspaper was another weird thing that I didn't have to go to great lengths to achieve. I really can't take much credit. I was getting a haircut and the guy showed me an article that was written about him. When I started flipping through the rest of the paper, I said, "You know.. it would be cool if there were an article about nutrition in here." He said, "Oh, well I am friends with the editor and she will be here Tuesday to get her hair done, I will ask her if she is interested." Well, you can see what happened next.


When I look back to the past year, there have been a lot of lifestyle changes for me and a LOT of risk - like I don't know... um... leaving my government job and moving to an ISLAND. As a result of these decisions, doubt occasionally creeps in. I wonder if I am "doing it right." Some old ideas sneak back in: "Should I want to be rich?" or "Should I have things more figured out by now?"


When people here ask me what I do, I say, "Well, I don't really know..." because I don't. I'm not going to pretend like I do. I like to be honest because I think maybe it can help others. I think that it helps to challenge this collective belief - that we all have to know exactly what we want and exactly what to do to get it, or at least PRETEND like we do. I used to think those were the rules and that we had to follow them. I don't really agree with that idea anymore - I am on my own path of "figuring it out" and more importantly, I am giving myself permission to do so.


But, what do I do to get through all of this confusion and all of these unknowns? It actually takes a lot of work. Like I said at the beginning, I try to take it one day at a time, and sometimes all I can handle is just one little moment at a time. This helps me to find appreciation and gratitude in the present. One drug of choice is watching the sunset at night. I think to myself, "This. This is why I am here." And then everything seems so simple. I think, "Who knows what tomorrow holds anyway? Right now, I am alive and I am watching this majestical sunset with my best friend - you know who - and I am happy." (Visual of recent sunset at bottom of post.)


"Not all those who wander are lost."

-J. R. R. Tolkien

I kind of want to add to this quote:

"Not all those who wander in wonder are lost."

I looked up the word "wonder" and I find the definition so fitting: a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.

Thank you so much for reading, and letting me share my stories. Tell me what you want me to write about.




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